“Yes, my Privacy settings mean a lot to me!”

So yes, I am a private person, and I don’t like sharing a whole lot with the entire world! I have few friends in real life with whom I prefer to share a lot! And then there only one or two with whom I share everything!

And I think that holds true for most of us!

The same attitude is a practice of mine on FB as well! And therefore it is very difficult for me to explain to people when they come up to me and say, “Dude we can’t see that(insert whatever you like here) on your (FB) profile”!

Even my mother has complained to me about this.

But the fact of the matter remains, that I am a very private person, and I guard my privacy above everything else!

I have almost my entire family on FB, and then I have some of my most closest friends on it as well. And you can’t always expect your friends to say the most audience-appropriate thing, so yes a lot of things have to get censored!  Continue reading

A modern day love story!

Did anyone see that movie Love ajj kal? Well consider this post a sequel to that movie. This is not my story, but was shared with my

Love Ajj Kal Source: 3.bp.blogspot.com

by a friend, and happens to be the love story of his brother.. well a pretty unsuccessful love story!

And this is how it goes….

They met online, and talks between them come closer and closer, until love had taken over both of them. The distance melted away, and they started to make their visits frequent….He lived in Karachi, She was in Islamabad!

The love affair lasted for around 8 years. I am not too big on the details.. but I guess that like every relationship, they must have had their ups and down!

But alas! This was not to be! The girl was diagnosed with cancer! And is now counting her final days! The guy at this point decided that he wanted to marry her!

But the girl refused! Probably not wanting to tie the guy down!

Now till this point the story is great!

Here is the modern, insensitive twist!

The guy is getting married in this September to some other girl! He has not met her, but was chosen for him by his family! Continue reading

“Is life really that complicated as we make it out to be?”

“Is life really that complicated as we make it out to be?”

That was the question asked to me by a friend of mine. I really didn’t have an answer to this question, although it did make me remeber something a school friend of mine once remarked.

She said, “I feel like nowadays me get ourselves bothered with far too many things.. relationships, boyfriends ( you people remember high school), while I look at these other girl (the nerds) and I really feel that the options that they have chosen for themselves tends to leave them more at peace.”

Welcome Folks to Modern Life! Source: dinmerican.wordpress.com

But you see, I believe that the modern world has got complicated.In the modern world, you are required to think on your toes, come up with solutions right there and then!

Things are far too complicated everything is multi-layered, and then you are always connected, meaning that you never have space or even a minute to yourself, to just think or run away. You are expected to be connected all the time!

I remember once how a teacher of mine had commented when we told him that a particular student couldn’t be reached in the short time about the extra class, since she wasn’t a regular email checker or had a phone. Continue reading

What to do when a friend gets a GF?

People, I have had a pretty simple rule for most of my life.. and now let me take this opportunity today to share it with you. The rule for always has been

“WHEN A FRIEND MALE FRIEND OF YOURS GETS A GIRL FRIEND….. RUN!

Yes, I realize that there would be many of you out there ready to come to put your case against this statement of mine… I mean you and this certain friend of yours have been such good friends despite you/her having so many relationships..blah,blah,blah…. but well I really don’t care for your opposition.

My experiences have told me from time and time again that it is the worst.. no correct that… THE MOST WORST IDEA .. that you would ever get in your life.

And the two times that I decided to throw this rule of mine out of the window and continue being normal.. and avoiding caution.. with my friends who have recently gotten “their own life” has serious been a disaster.

Take the events of today shall we? I ran into this great friend of mine.. I mean i hadn’t seen him for two weeks because he is now working and the last two Saturdays because of unavoidable circumstances we were just not able to meet each other. but today apparently he gets off of work early.. and if I was smart enough I would have taken the fact that his girl.. who also works.. is also hanging out around the university as any hint, I might have avoided a confrontation.. but alas.. I m not that smart. and  I didn’t get the hint.

but lets back up a little and let me tell you the whole story in its most minimal version ..  Continue reading

Maid and Us – an evolving relationship!

Never before did i think that it is possible to have a maid as a status symbol! But apparently it is!

We have never been the family that stresses too much about the maid and keep looking and following it stressing till the last spot of dust has been removed; we have never been the family that keeps firing one maid after the other until they find the one that fulfills treats their own house like their first born!

This is how it has worked for us. The maid comes in on the first day; she is taken through the duties that she is suppose to do! Her time is usually fixed according to our whims, which is usually at 9, when we are all fast asleep and she does her work without getting in our faces and leaves… anything that needs to be complained about her lack of care for our house is transmitted to her the next morning!

We had the same maid for over 10 years and when she left, it was like we had been completely abandoned… we were lost for so long, we didn’t trust anyone else to take care of our house for a  long time, there were a few rebounds but they just didn’t work! Continue reading

The ending of yet another year!

The year is almost over! It’s done with.. and as a human this is as true a confession can get about how I have spent this year!

As a mere human, I have spent this year dwelling in whats to come, and whats been left behind forever and ever to which there is no turning back.

I have made mistakes and failed, I have taken risks and succedded, I have rejoiced in my friends happiness, and have been hurt by what I saw around me.

I have found new friendships, while found an even greater support system within the old friendships that I have carried on with me for years.

I found that the perspectives that I have had about people are not always true and every now and then they require to be revisited, evaluated, and changed for the better or for the worst.

I have broken promises and gotten mad at other for breaking theirs! Continue reading

Of being Gay (In the most sexual manner)

Rainbow flags at the end of the gay, lesbian, ...

Flags at a Gay, Lesbian and bisexual Parade. Image via Wikipedia

A friend of mine recently commented to me

“How do you expect to find a straight man when you are so friendly with gay people?”

Now I would not have been surprised if she had said:

“How do  you expect to find a man for yourself when you are always hanging out with guys whom you call your friend, since any other guy would assume the obvious since they are that stupid and idiot?”

What is it with people and this huge deal over being gay? Especially straight men! As soon as you mention a story about a friend, they would actually start making faces, or come up with the most weirdest taunts about them.

It is like this great big phobia that straight men seem to be having! I mean just because they are gay doesn’t mean they want to do it with every guy!

But to be honest it is nice to know that men can feel the same kind of insecurities that girls face in most parts of the world.

But this phobia is real , and I have seen it in many of my straight friends, and I think it is downright offensive they talk about gay men! The recent suicide by a teenager over being gay due to the taunts of his friends and students of the same high school shows the fact that there is a very low acceptance of being gay in almost all parts of the world. Continue reading

Pakistani Men… continued!

ONCE A GUY KNOWS THAT YOU ARE INTO HIM, THEY THINK THAT THEY HAVE SOME KIND OF POWER OVER YOU:-

I know that the common rumor is that most of the times guys would like the opposite sex to take the first step and initate thing, the reasons varying from “that they are not always sure” and the fact “they just dont know how to take the first step”.

It is often noticed, however, that once a guy knows that a girl might have an interest in them, they think – correction- they absolutely believe that they have some kind of power over them that they can use since the think that the poor thing is absolutely “ga-ga” about them.

Really, what is it with MEN.. why is it that they can’t just make up their mind. And considering that I like men and wouldn’t mind spending life with a nice one out of the lot…. I really don’t much light at the end of the tunnel.

As we grow Old..

Most of the cynics would tell you that marriages are made only for the purpose that you dont die alone, that you have someone to hold your hand as you waste the last years of your life, crying and begging for forgiveness and scared of the next world.

The romantics will hate to admit it but their reasoning is also very much along the same lines. They believe that marriages are a match made in heaven, so that we may all have the one with whom to grow old with and to spend our time with, and have that one perfect soul who is to be our support for ever and ever.. in this world.

Continue reading

The Pakistani Men.. Part 2

This is the second part of my own analysis on the psycology of the Pakistani Men. So here is my analysis number 4:

4. A GF AND A WIFE ARE TWO DIFFERENT SIDES OF THE COIN:

Most of the men in our society, and when I say most i mean 90% of the men, would want a gf that is fun, adventurous, wild, and ready for a bit of ahum ahum… but a wife is a different story.

The gf should be some one with whom they can go out to parties, to concerts, hang out, who is open minded and not an orthodox, who doesn’t follow connections. For their entire adulthood hey wouldn’t mind flirting and talking to girls that are of the above description, but for a wife they would always go for a simple, Jane next door sort of a girl.

The reason for this can be simple! For a wife they want a girl that would sit at home and do the house work, who is decent enough to be introduced to family, to give good values to the kids, because God forbid the “gf material” sort of a girl would never have any of those traits, right !!!!!

This twisting psycolgical aspect of the Pakistani men is yet to be understood! We need our own little Freud to do that for us.

Pakistani Men.. the great mystery!

They used to claim that it is a hard job to get what women are actually saying.. But I would like to disagree with that famous myth. Instead I am here with my own special thesis. And this thesis claims that it is highly difficult a job to understand men especially if they happen to be Pakistani.

There is a strange thing about Pakistani women. I would like to discuss these symptoms in a systematic manner. Let’s start with the number one issue.

1. THEY ALL WANT A VIRGIN, BEAUTY WHILE THEY CAN HAVE ONE LEG AND AN EYE:

This is not so much a symptom as a disorder. The Pakistani Men can be blind, deaf, impotent, or have no dick at all, have one leg, can be the ugliest men on the face of the planet, but still his wife has to be the version of the moon itself. She has to be pretty, petite, tiny, dependable, and ready to give it to him whenever he wants. She must a good housewife, and ready to make as many beautiful babies (read sons) as possible, be a good daughter to the mother in law and serve her husband as well as the entire family. The brides must also provide her with a huge dowry or her life can be miserable. She must bring all the comforts with her, as well as provide all the comforts for as long as she may live. Oh.. And she must also take the blame if her husband is impotent for being the one with a “Problem”

2. THEY ALL WANT TO CONQUER THE CAREER WOMEN AND WIN THE BATTLE ONE WOMEN AT A TIME BY MAKING THEM HOUSEWIVES:

The next psychological trend/disorder that you would find existing in most of the men in Pakistan is that nowadays there is a going demand for educated women. The trend is mostly due to the rising number of multi nationals, where one’s male ego is hurt just too much if their wives can’t wear caprice, and sleeveless and flirt and debate about the intellectual world around them and praise the bosses by admiring their almost nonexistent intelligence. They want wives about whom they can boost. But the career.. ahum.. that has to be stopped almost as soon as the girl says “Kabool Ha (I accept)” – our eastern version of I do. Because after all “agar tum kam karo ge to bache kon sambhale ga (If you are going to work then who is going to take care of the kids). So thus the Pakistani men can rejoice at this moment very happily as they have got one more women sitting inside the house. They have cured one more women from the sickness that is called “career-oriented” and made them be what God intended them to be. Cheers to you, Pakistani Men!

3. THEY ALL THINK THAT NO MATTER WHAT SORT OF A GIRL SHE IS, SHE WOULD BE EXPECTED TO ADJUST TO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING:

The men of this grand land, I think, give little or no importance to the background that the girl comes from. They expect that well since she is moving away, she might as well understand that it is she that would have to adjust to everyone, from the Masi (the maid) to the old-almost-but-not-quite-dead-great grandmother, who looks more like a pece of relic than a human. And I am almost certain that they feel proud about it, since they have bought the sinful image of a women to the right path. Girls coming from moderately secular houses are married off to big beards to wash the sins of their daughters and give them a Rahe Haq (The right direction…. which in most cases means the religious direction)

This is a section that is to continue.. wait for as I study more and more the psycology of the Pakistani men !