Of Asim Butt, Epiphanies, and being alone in this big wide world!

This would not have happened if this city wasn’t suffocating him!

This is what Arif Sahab said when the news of Asim Butt’s death reached him. It was still early morning, hardly 12 yet, and the news was received with shock!

Asim.....

It has been a while now, since Asim left his friends! I wasn’t one of them, but I had met him. Polite exchange of pleasantries had taken place between us whenever we met!

This is why it feels awkward for me to even try to say that last night somehow I understood what he did and why he did it! I understood somehow why he would have decided to take things in his own hands!

I wish I could say that the realization came to me in an epiphany, but it was instead a result of my own depressive phase that seems to have taken hold of me recently! Continue reading

Five stages of Grief

” Lexie: Grief may be a thing we all have in common, but it looks different on everyone.

Mark: It isn’t just death we have to grieve. It’s life. It’s loss. It’s change.
Alex: And when we wonder why it has to suck so much sometimes, has to hurt so bad. The thing we gotta try to remember is that it can turn on a dime.
Izzie: That’s how you stay alive. When it hurts so much you can’t breathe, that’s how you survive.
Derek: By remembering that one day, somehow, impossibly, you won’t feel this way. It won’t hurt this much.
Bailey: Grief comes in its own time for everyone, in its own way.
Owen: So the best we can do, the best anyone can do, is try for honesty.
Meredith: The really crappy thing, the very worst part of grief is that you can’t control it.
Arizona: The best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it when it comes.
Callie: And let it go when we can.
Meredith: The very worst part is that the minute you think you’re past it, it starts all over again.
Cristina: And always, every time, it takes your breath away.
Meredith: There are five stages of grief. They look different on all of us, but there are always five.
Alex: Denial.
Derek: Anger.
Bailey: Bargaining.
Lexie: Depression.
Chief: Acceptance.

– Lines from Greys Anatomy


These for me are some of the most beautiful lines ever written! They are honest, relate-able, and is about something that we have all been through. Loss, Grief, Change are all emotions that we feel on a daily basis, and somehow we learn to accept it and move past it to a point where it doesn’t hurt that bad.

Continue reading

Things I keep learning about myself

See every single day is a new experience for me…. You see I am wonderful joy ride, and since I am so interesting there is always something new about me that I keep discovering …..Note to the world: I am not a self absorbed narcissist!

So here is a list of things that I can actually recall about myself at the moment and is now on display:

  1. I hate to wait: I have always hated this.. since as long as I can remember! I hate waiting for a car to come if I am free early, I hate waiting for the bus to come, for the person who is suppose to pick me to finally show up, for something exciting to happen, for a plan to finalize for a get together, or a secret finally to be revealed, for things to take their due course….. Anything and everything that could possibly come in this category!  I simply hate waiting!
  2. I hate ice-creams: This has been a pretty recent change in me. I have just stopped liking ice-creams! I hate them now! And I even hate it further when people push you to have it or give you that “How – in-the-world-is-something-like-this-possible! ”
  3. I love animals, as long as they don’t come close/try to jump/rub themselves around my legs:This is a phenomenon restricted to animals that I have not become comfortable with, which

    Well, I couldn't find a better image to suit this post!

    basically means that I can touch their fur and all, but they are not allowed to come, which basically means that it includes all animals excluding my turtle.

  4. I get scared of a particular task that I do after a long time:Take an example of this! I sat on a plane after a long time, and I was scared shit. Every jerk of the plane was taken as a way to validate my thought that this plane will crash, even after we hit the runway, I was sure that at least the tyre would burst! But on the return flight, I was so so chilled! No tensions nothing! And the other day when I took the pedestrian bridge, I was sure one of the steel plates would fall off, although I have taken a pedestrian bridge a gazillion times! But on the way back I wasn’t!
  5. I really don’t care much for taking a shower:Ya, I am lazy! So I might just skip it for a day or two!  Continue reading