Image via Wikipedia
The very blessed month of “Ramadan” or “Ramazan” (adjust as per your accent) has evolved a lot from being the innocent month of Ramzan (as per my Urdu dialect). The blessed month of Ramzan has been captured and chained under the banner of “Blessed Month”, in a fact, let me tell you just how blessed this month is.
This month is so blessed that,
- We only work half the day.
- We decide that our Education time should be cut by half.
- We waste ourselves after coming home by sleeping till the much blessed “Iftar”time. Continue reading
Image via Wikipedia
It has been strange for me even – who used to curse the Government and the system for one reason or the other almost every day – that I haven’t been able to write a hate/love, abusive post about Politics or its many different actors for that matter! But there is a reason for it. And its simple: I am bored of it. Shocked? You Shouldn’t be!
Any one who follows Pakistani Politics should know that no where else does the hypothesis “History repeats itself” is more apparent then here. Almost every month the same accusation, the same drama goes on to be repeated in the Capital as well as our media.Lets take it step by step then, shall we?
- Your ordinary week would start from a bomb blast. If more than 10 people died, it might get more importance, otherwise it would simply be a bottom line news.
- The governments negligence to stop these attacks is raised up by the likes of Kamran Khan.
- The negligence is then blamed on Zardari, resulting in
- A couple of know-it-all (read Imran Khan, Sheikh Rashid) sitting on every other talk show and saying that its all because of our lack of efforts to resolve the Swiss Cases,
- The Judiciary gets active and issues orders and takes suo moto notices,
- Tyres are burnt to vent out the combined frustrations of no electricity and Zardari as our President,
- Only to have the weekend over, and to forget all about it as the entire city turns towards the beaches,
- Only so that a couple of individuals can drown themselves so that we can once again start the vicious blame game!
Tell me then, that how much can one cry about the same repeated events again and again!
This is a list of all the things that I have come to conclude I can never do while living in Pakistan!
Disclaimer: This shouldn’t be looked upon as a hate post, but simply as a way to vent out!
- I can never commute via Cyle/motorcycle….
- I can never consider McDonalds junk food.. after all I am paying the same amount for it that I would pay at a five star!
- I can never celebrate a World Cup with my friends without worrying that a riot will break out in the crowd!
- I can never go to a culinary or a Ballet School.. cause we just dont have it.
WIsh I could do that!
- Go to a cinema / concert / match /religion or political rallies without the fear of a bomb blast.
- Expect to see an uncensored movie in a cinema!
- Hope to have a Hyundi Fan Park in this country!
One of the many Hyundai Fan Park that were put up during the World Cup
- Have a celebration after a match without the gun shots!
- Drive in my own lane for more than 5 minutes without being dippered from behind!
- Work on my computer without worrying about data loss, Courtusy Karachi Electric Supply Company!
What Else.. what else?
Images from: http://www.worldcup.hyundai.com
So last week, Express Tribune published a list of things that one should do this summer.. the list was amusing to say the very least.. and sure to push you a bit more towards finally claiming bankruptcy! So here is the list.. dissected as I see it fit!
1. Read The Gospel According to Coco Chanel for musings from the grand dame of fashion.... Actually this one isn’t such a bad idea.. I mean the original book might cause me a dent .. but still.. I really do want to read this one!
2. Trail a hem: Long skirts a la maxi style are all the rage this summer according to NYT’s ‘Style Section..Done.. since I own some of them..
3. Bag it: Get yourself on the wish list for the latest bag from Mulberry, the Alexa (695 pounds). It has a 9,000 customer wait list online and is due in July. ..Ya this one is going to be causing me a major dent …. Who every suggested this should have remembered the fact that this is a time of ECONOMIC RECESSION!
4. Go indoor skiing at the Mall of the Emirates, Dubai. Because let’s face it, you can…..Another major dent .. we are on number 4 and already I have a 5 figure dent!
5. Learn an instrument….Ok this one I can do.. Only if i commit to stop being a couch potato! 6. If in Abu Dhabi be sure to catch a performance of Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance between June 23- 25. Tickets will sell out quickly so go online to book in advance Abu Dhabi? No i will not be in Abu Dhabi.. Just because the SA…If inTC2 crowd can manage to go their in the movie with their GF’s doesnt mean you put it in the TO-DO-LIST for the masses..
7. Watch Sex and the City 2 even though you know it’ll be rubbish and you’ll hate it. Make it a girlie party complete with non-alcoholic ‘tinis of some kind. And pray that this really is the end of Carrie and all on the Big (pun intended) screen….I plan to watch it 🙂 Continue reading
Its been so so many days since I have seen my FB ( I lost count after the first intense 24 hours ). For all of you who were taking a vacation on Timbaktu, the summary is that after some Dopehead made a group “Everybody Draw Mohammad Day” and after some radicals filed a petition in Lahore High Court to have the site banned through PTA, who went on ahead and felt that it is their moral duty to block every website name that they know.. This would explain why Hotmail, Yahoo, Youtube, Twitter are not working anymore.
Anyways I thought that after many whinny post about how I miss my darling, It is about time that I write about some of the major impacts that is is having on me. Here is a list of things:-
1. Finding Creative new ways to waste way: Till the good old times of
My new addiction.. I am sorry FB, Trust me its just an infatuation
having FB in my life, my major time was spent playing a lot of games, and a little bit of socializing with my friends.. Initially I thought I would get some work done, but nooooo… now all my day is lost in venting about it online, trying to find back doors, and getting addicted to TweetDeck!
2. Making up Conspiracy Theories: Yes, I know that this point alone would confirm for many of you out there that I am going nuts.. But really, if they can still come up with reasons like RAW, and Jewish Lobby then why can’t I add a bit of my own theories. SO here is mine.. this was all done to minimize the Musharraf Campaign on FB.. I mean think about it, the lawyers hate him.. and he had been using FB to lure in people towards his fan page with his ad popping up on the right side of the screen… So the lawyers created this page and then had FB ban the entire website, so that they can stop his spread of evil…… This would one day be recognized as the biggest cover up of our history.. ! Continue reading
So I am sure most of you who have their eyes and ears open on Facebook must have heard about the latest thing that has come to bite the ass of most Muslims… So what must have happened is that a couple of dope heads would have gotten together and this is how imagine the conversation must have taken place..
Dope Head #1: Hey dude whats up…
DP#2 : Nothing man.. just the same old …Even Virtual World is so f***** bore nowadays
DP#1 : Hey lets push some Muslims button.. that is always fun for a few days at least
DP#2: I know what you mean man.. The South Park push was a nice one..,,
DP#1: or like the time when this Danish guy pissed them.. that was fun.. oh hey.. I have a great idea.. let’s do a Draw Mohammad Day.. that would truly piss them off…
DP#2: Ha Ha… that would be fun..
Dope Head Vs. The Radicals
So they did what they wanted to and then someone on this side of the globe must have read it and this is the conversation that they must have had.. Lets call them Radical-With-No-Brains
RWNB#1: Allah-ho-Akber-(God is Great) Nauzobillah (God Forgiveness) what have these infidels have done now..
Yes sire, the man himself has spoken and this would be the change that we have all been waiting.. We all have been waiting for a man like Mr. Shahbaz Sharif, who has the courage and the conviction to tell those bloody Talibans exactly what to do… and the man has done it.. Rejoice world, for this is the final commandment… You would see no more terror unleash itself on the soil of Pakistan….excuse me, I meant Punjab….
Didn’t he mean Pakistan? I am sure he meant Pakistan.. “CM Shahbaz wants Taliban to spare Punjab” ..
Oh so he did really mean Pakistan.. maybe he doesn’t believe in National Politics.. Maybe he has never claimed to be a Paksitani Leader… Maybe his Party stands for the rights of Punjabi’s … What ? Oh..They have seats in the National Assembly.. So they are National Leaders, having representation in the biggest National Representation Body… hmm so how does one rationalize what he said in his speech?
HMMMMM.. He is a national leader.. yet he says something like that! His party claims to have strength in all provinces… they have representation on the national Level also… so then what could it be.. Why would he say something so so Stupid? …Hmmm..thinking.. thinking…Oh, Eureka.. I got it..the answer is… CAUSE MAYBE HE IS STUPID!