Is it Possible not to be Judgemental?

A recent discussions with a friend made me ponder on this question, and thus to put it out in the world for furthur pondering, although I am sure many of you out there are done pondering on this question long before this post came into being as  a result of a lot of pondering.

So the question then becomes is it really possible not to judge some one? Maybe you wont tell them what you think but how is it possible that you don’t form an opinion? This friend who made me ponder shared some stories with me and these stories made me think ( as is obvious) and yes to be honest, I even judged him a bit.

So what should be the verdict? The pondering Continues….

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The consequences of the War Technology

In my philosophy course, there was once a discussion about how the recent developments in the War technologies has made war more easy and horrendous.. not only from a technology point of view but also from a Psychological point of view.My teacher argued that now since we don’t get to see the impact of our action, the impact of killing a person is dramatically less than it might have been, lets say in the Crusades.

Last night during watching Vantage point there was a scene when the terrorist Mastermind is able to shoot at the President, make a bomb go away all while simply sitting somewhere and it makes one realize that war and attacks simply have become too easy now to make happen. They don’t require a guilt factor and they don’t make you suffer over killing someone since you are so far away that you are able to disassociate yourself with the reality of the ground.

The argument against this can always be that the media is now there to provide us with the visual link to what is happening far away and that we can see the impact literally unfolding before our eyes. That is true. It was much clear during the recent Palestine Conflict and it was therefore that there was such a huge support for the Palestine Cause and such a pressure to stop the attacks and they did work in making the conflict stop.

Btu then it is also the choice of the media what it chooses to show or not. Such a case in point is the drone attacks that have been happening in the North of our country, Pakistan for almost an year now. The drone attacks have killed more innocent people then thy have the terrorist and thus now brewing the new threat of a new wave of terrorist as a reaction to this.

The media however has not given much attention to this and thus although the headlines with a Google map showing the area of attack is visible to us but not the actual scene of the disaster is ever transmitted to us. Maybe that is why the cause “STOP THE DRONE ATTACKS” hasn’t been able to catch much dynamics. Continue reading

Girls Psychology Part 1

My previous posts might have given an impression that I am a men-hating, men-bitching sort of a person who can find faults with them and everything else that they do. So maybe the impression so far has been that I am a biased person who has a war against the “men”kind.

And thus to prove to the world that I am, in a fact, an unbiased person who can be neutral and has the capability to find faults with everything, this is the new section that I have started.

The truth of the matter is that this section is a result of a conversation I heard of two girls as I was walking towards class and I realized “God.. they can be worse than guys” And thus I owe a great debt to them for this. Thank you.And now for the conversation that the two girls had that would reflect the psychology of the girls in our society.

Lets call them Miss A. and Miss S, both of them are textiles students at the the University of Karachi, aged around 22, and by the looks of their conversation can’t wait to get married. Here is more or less how the conversation went.

Miss A: My mom can’t wait to get me married.

Miss S: You don’t mind getting married.

Miss A: Well no… why would I? See my mom was saying that she will start looking for husbands for me since I am still of the age where it is easy to find (read trap) guys for marriage.

Miss S: What about Madeeha ? (Miss A’s older sister)

Miss A: Well she has crossed the age (she is only 4 years older making her 26) so its so difficult to find a guy for me so my mom and me would rather focus on getting me married.

WHAT KIND OF A PERSON TALKS LIKE THAT ABOUT THEIR OWN SISTER? OR MORE, WHAT KIND OF AN EDUCATED SOCIETY ARE WE THAT STILL THINKS THAT 26 YEAR OLD IS AN OLD AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Lets do the maths shall we? Although the stats of Pakistan hasn’t been changed for ages but people do live up to be 80 on an average, which means if girls are getting married at the age of 20 that means that they are married for 3/4 or 75% of their lives, if they are getting married by the age of 30, they are married for almost 63% of their lives, which is still more than half of their life that they can spend the way they want to single and free. So why is it that we still go on to judge a girl if she is, God forbid, not married by the age of 26?

And person who is in a professional field would know that this is how long it takes to be a doctor, an engineer, or to make anything out of yourself in a professional field. So then why is it that people who are in the field, especially girls, would not only judge others but also their own sisters.. SHAME SHAME!



Pakistani Men… continued!

ONCE A GUY KNOWS THAT YOU ARE INTO HIM, THEY THINK THAT THEY HAVE SOME KIND OF POWER OVER YOU:-

I know that the common rumor is that most of the times guys would like the opposite sex to take the first step and initate thing, the reasons varying from “that they are not always sure” and the fact “they just dont know how to take the first step”.

It is often noticed, however, that once a guy knows that a girl might have an interest in them, they think – correction- they absolutely believe that they have some kind of power over them that they can use since the think that the poor thing is absolutely “ga-ga” about them.

Really, what is it with MEN.. why is it that they can’t just make up their mind. And considering that I like men and wouldn’t mind spending life with a nice one out of the lot…. I really don’t much light at the end of the tunnel.

The Pakistani Men.. Part 2

This is the second part of my own analysis on the psycology of the Pakistani Men. So here is my analysis number 4:

4. A GF AND A WIFE ARE TWO DIFFERENT SIDES OF THE COIN:

Most of the men in our society, and when I say most i mean 90% of the men, would want a gf that is fun, adventurous, wild, and ready for a bit of ahum ahum… but a wife is a different story.

The gf should be some one with whom they can go out to parties, to concerts, hang out, who is open minded and not an orthodox, who doesn’t follow connections. For their entire adulthood hey wouldn’t mind flirting and talking to girls that are of the above description, but for a wife they would always go for a simple, Jane next door sort of a girl.

The reason for this can be simple! For a wife they want a girl that would sit at home and do the house work, who is decent enough to be introduced to family, to give good values to the kids, because God forbid the “gf material” sort of a girl would never have any of those traits, right !!!!!

This twisting psycolgical aspect of the Pakistani men is yet to be understood! We need our own little Freud to do that for us.

Pakistani Men.. the great mystery!

They used to claim that it is a hard job to get what women are actually saying.. But I would like to disagree with that famous myth. Instead I am here with my own special thesis. And this thesis claims that it is highly difficult a job to understand men especially if they happen to be Pakistani.

There is a strange thing about Pakistani women. I would like to discuss these symptoms in a systematic manner. Let’s start with the number one issue.

1. THEY ALL WANT A VIRGIN, BEAUTY WHILE THEY CAN HAVE ONE LEG AND AN EYE:

This is not so much a symptom as a disorder. The Pakistani Men can be blind, deaf, impotent, or have no dick at all, have one leg, can be the ugliest men on the face of the planet, but still his wife has to be the version of the moon itself. She has to be pretty, petite, tiny, dependable, and ready to give it to him whenever he wants. She must a good housewife, and ready to make as many beautiful babies (read sons) as possible, be a good daughter to the mother in law and serve her husband as well as the entire family. The brides must also provide her with a huge dowry or her life can be miserable. She must bring all the comforts with her, as well as provide all the comforts for as long as she may live. Oh.. And she must also take the blame if her husband is impotent for being the one with a “Problem”

2. THEY ALL WANT TO CONQUER THE CAREER WOMEN AND WIN THE BATTLE ONE WOMEN AT A TIME BY MAKING THEM HOUSEWIVES:

The next psychological trend/disorder that you would find existing in most of the men in Pakistan is that nowadays there is a going demand for educated women. The trend is mostly due to the rising number of multi nationals, where one’s male ego is hurt just too much if their wives can’t wear caprice, and sleeveless and flirt and debate about the intellectual world around them and praise the bosses by admiring their almost nonexistent intelligence. They want wives about whom they can boost. But the career.. ahum.. that has to be stopped almost as soon as the girl says “Kabool Ha (I accept)” – our eastern version of I do. Because after all “agar tum kam karo ge to bache kon sambhale ga (If you are going to work then who is going to take care of the kids). So thus the Pakistani men can rejoice at this moment very happily as they have got one more women sitting inside the house. They have cured one more women from the sickness that is called “career-oriented” and made them be what God intended them to be. Cheers to you, Pakistani Men!

3. THEY ALL THINK THAT NO MATTER WHAT SORT OF A GIRL SHE IS, SHE WOULD BE EXPECTED TO ADJUST TO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING:

The men of this grand land, I think, give little or no importance to the background that the girl comes from. They expect that well since she is moving away, she might as well understand that it is she that would have to adjust to everyone, from the Masi (the maid) to the old-almost-but-not-quite-dead-great grandmother, who looks more like a pece of relic than a human. And I am almost certain that they feel proud about it, since they have bought the sinful image of a women to the right path. Girls coming from moderately secular houses are married off to big beards to wash the sins of their daughters and give them a Rahe Haq (The right direction…. which in most cases means the religious direction)

This is a section that is to continue.. wait for as I study more and more the psycology of the Pakistani men !