The 40 Rules of Love: Rule 1

The Idea behind this series of “The 40 rules of Love :Rule #” is to explore the idea of Love which has been given in this book of Elif Safak. I will be taking up one rule at a time, as I continue to read the books and then explore from my own perspective. It is for me an experiment in Love, Belief, Spirituality and Faith. Lets see where it lands me! 

Only recently, did I started reading the book which already seems to have become a big sensation in the world over. The book ofcourse is as you would have guessed if you are at all interested in books is “The 40 Rules of Love” by Elif Shafak.

The book from the main description of the topic explores nothing new. It appears – SO FAR – to be a cliche love story about Rumi and Tabriz. Now, this is where I always get stuck!

Have we become so cynical about love that we refuse to see it as anything other than the physical pleasure of two bodies?

The love story of Tabriz and Rumi has always raised enough suspicion in me to take their love as so much more than the spiritual crap that is thrown in at us. How is it that one can talk about someone with so much intensity and not cross certain boundaries? How is it that the height of your passion is a man who is with you and you don’t get close enough!

Anyways, the book begins, a story about Ella and her life which seems to have taken toll on the more important aspects that should be the part of one’s life, , like Love, Romance, etc. She has taken up this job as a Manuscript analyst or whatever, and she is posed with the first rule of Love, which is,

How we see God is a direct reflection of how we see ourselves. If God brings to mind mostly fear and blame, it means there is too much fear and blame welled inside us. If we see God as full of love and compassion, so are we.

How do I see God? Do I see God? I have never been a person who has had a strong belief,my belief seems to come and go! My faith has been explained by different people in different people, a few have claimed that I am a Closet Believer, others have said that I  am upset with God for hurting me and that is why I refuse to accept him. The second statement has seem to hit home, it has at moments seemed to knock the wind out of me.

So does that really mean that I am upset with Him? I can never really be sure about this. I remember a time when I used to have so much faith in Him, but then came a time, when I started feeling that it is all too easy! Having someone up above looking down at you and at your actions and just like that one day, there will be a good and bad, and heaven and hell! It all seemed so easy! So am I really upset with Him? My question has always been where was He, when I was going through all of the shit I was going through, where was He? What was He so busy with that he didn’t come to my help?

Forget the question about whether I believe in him or not for a minute, but if this is how I see God, then does that mean that I think of him as a being who sits back and let things happen to others? He lets us go through the hurt and the pain and let us make our own mistakes and learn and let go and learn to depend on ourselves?

Lets take this question the other way round! How do I see myself? I see myself as family oriented, Independent, Love my career, passionate, Want to prove myself, I think I have a bigger purpose in life, I am curious, stubborn, wandering spirit, and more than that, I am a human, who has limits. I like to find my own way, I like getting lost, because I think you can find so much more about something when you are lost, I want to know everything about everything, I want to touch and feel and see everything! Is that how God is? Family Oriented, Independent, Loving his work, passionate, With a bigger purpose, Curious, Stubborn?

If He is like that, then we might get along pretty well!

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3 thoughts on “The 40 Rules of Love: Rule 1

  1. If you’ve read any part of the book at all, how then do you not know that it is about the poet Rumi and the wandering dervish and mystic SHAMS of Tabriz?

    • I know very well what the book is about, but the rules that I am talking here were not meant for Rumi. They were a general set of rules having their roots in Sufism and Love and Religion. I am just trying to see how they relate to my own life.

  2. If you read enough about Sufism. You will realize it is about transcending physical boundaries. Rising above the physical world. The love Sufis experience for people is through the love they feel for God. They believe that god is within u as is the entire universe. Therefore assuming that to love someone as much as rumi loved shams there had to be some physical relationships involved, is close minded and narrow at best. The love between a teacher and a student in Sufism is one that is above all other relations. And does not involve any physical relationship. Sexual contact complicates relationships and brings a kind of instability and variability (intense love or disappointment or frustrations) taking that out of the equation allows for a stable and strong love. Just saying.

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