40 things to do this Summer – Dissected!

So last week, Express Tribune published a list of things that one should do this summer.. the list was amusing to say the very least.. and sure to push you a bit more towards finally claiming bankruptcy! So here is the list.. dissected as I see it fit!

Summer Fun..

1. Read The Gospel According to Coco Chanel for musings from the grand dame of fashion.... Actually this one isn’t such a bad idea.. I mean the original book might cause me a dent .. but still.. I really do want to read this one!

2. Trail a hem: Long skirts a la maxi style are all the rage this summer according to NYT’s ‘Style Section..Done.. since I own some of them..

3. Bag it: Get yourself on the wish list for the latest bag from Mulberry, the Alexa (695 pounds). It has a 9,000 customer wait list online and is due in July. ..Ya this one is going to be causing me a major dent …. Who every suggested this should have remembered the fact that this is a time of ECONOMIC RECESSION!

4. Go indoor skiing at the Mall of the Emirates, Dubai. Because let’s face it, you can…..Another major dent .. we are on number 4 and already I have a 5 figure dent!

5. Learn an instrument….Ok this one I can do.. Only if i commit to stop being a couch potato! 6. If in Abu Dhabi be sure to catch a performance of Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance between June 23- 25. Tickets will sell out quickly so go online to book in advance Abu Dhabi? No i will not be in Abu Dhabi.. Just because the SAIf inTC2 crowd can manage to go their in the movie with their GF’s doesnt mean you put it in the TO-DO-LIST for the masses..

7. Watch Sex and the City 2 even though you know it’ll be rubbish and you’ll hate it. Make it a girlie party complete with non-alcoholic ‘tinis of some kind. And pray that this really is the end of Carrie and all on the Big (pun intended) screen….I plan to watch it 🙂8. If in London, check out Exposed, a photo exhibit on Voyeurism, Surveillance and the Camera at the Tate Modern on until October 3. .Again..If I am in London…? We have now officially entered in to 6 digit losses people!

9. Detox, Purify: A gazillion spas await you in a gazillion destinations in Thailand; choosing one could take up a good portion of your summer ...I officially declare the person who was making this list as a self-indulgent rich bastard who had no idea about the plight of half of the people living in the land of the Pures!

10. Read John Grisham’s Theodore Boone, Young Lawyer, his foray into children’s literature. ….Well it’s not my cup of tea.. since I consider him to be trash in English Literature but at least its something that I can afford to do!

11. The Karachi Riding School will help you overcome your fear of horses and teach you the basics of horse riding. They even have special summer classes for children…I like I like!

12. Summers in Karachi are all about the weddings. Everyone you know is getting married and, if you take it seriously enough, it can eat up an entire month. Shop for weddings, get make-up for weddings, go to weddings, get married…Or simply pull out old clothes that I am sure your mother has saved up somewhere and give them a new look by adding a lace here and there.. plus the long shirts from th 80’s are all back in.. so just adjust them a bit and you are sure to be a success without wasting a lot of money 🙂

13. Get the Ipad. All your friends in the States already have. Stephen Fry loved it so much he can’t shut up about it. ….You know if i had actually followed this list, this would be the point  I would have officially declared myself broke!

14. Yoga fanatics can head to Pokhara in Nepal and choose from one of the dozen or so yoga retreats on offer in this city of 200,000 located 2,900 feet above sea level.Who the hell were the designing this list for.. Bill Gates?

15. The US TV season officially ends in May. There are, though, at least two shows worth watching that will start this summer. Wake up in the mornings to download the fourth season of ‘Mad Men’ and the umpteenth season of ‘Entourage’. ….I just might do this one.. or just stick to the gazillion of reruns ! Cheap and Almost free!

16. Do your bit for the community and surprise yourself with how good it makes you feel. TCF is taking volunteers for its summer camp,  and Dar ul Sukoon is one place you can always go to when you want to remind yourself how plain fortunate you are…Good one!

17. There are two exhibitions this summer, one local and one foreign, that are a must for all art-lovers. In Los Angeles there is Beyond the Page — The Miniature as Attitude in Contemporary Art from Pakistan at the Pacific Asia Museum that goes on till June 27th. Meanwhile the Sindh Musuem in Hyderabad will be hosting Fatah Je Aassey Paassey which examines the influence of Fata Halepoto on artists from interior Sindh…Los Angles one ..NO! Hyderabad.. Yes.. it is a great way to get out of the city and still be back in a few hours!

18. Have a summer fling. Because you should…Done and DONE!

19. It’s too hot for the car’s AC to keep you cool but it’s not too hot to go for a ride on your bike. Or at least that’s what Ahmad Rafay Alam would have us believe. Join Critical Mass and re-discover your city while getting some healthy fun (and a mouthful of fumes from the traffic)…I would do that..but my mom is sure that I would be attracting at least half of the idiots on the street back home!

20. Yes, we know you’re a photographer because you have an awesome camera and your friends just love the images you upload on Flickr but now you can learn some fundamental techniques at Indus Valley’s digital photography workshop. ..A Worthy suggestion.. but then didn’t some wise man say “Education destroyed me”

21. Have you stared in befuddlement at the menu at a French restaurant? Take French classes at Alliance Francaise and then try and forget that you learned what ‘escargot’ really is. The Goethe institute offers lessons in German which should come in handy when you are cursing the German football team at this summer’s World Cup... this one is a small dent of around 4 figures.. but still it will come handy when you apply for a job/scholarship.. to the added advantage of understanding the menu ( but that menu usually has an english sub text with it..ssshhhh!)

22. Rajneeti is the story of an election campaign, with all the manipulation, corruption, dedication and inevitable loss of innocence that it entails. Raising eyebrows prior to its release due to allegations that Kaif’s minister is inspired by Sonia Gandhi, the veteran director promises a thoughtful and challenging drama challenging one’s notions of the Indian democratic system…My dvd player is not working.. or this one i would have done a while ago!

23. We know your New Year’s resolution was to tackle the Russian classics but summer is all about curling up with your favourite books and reading for hours on end. So spend the long, lazy afternoons re-visiting your Agatha Christies, and, while we’re on the subject of guilty pleasures, re-read all your Daphne du Mauriers too….I am not going to stoop that low.. but I have taken out all my Archie comics!

24. From candle-making at Rangoonwala to Therapy through Clay at Indus Valley, there are arts and crafts classes to suit every budget, taste and age group…Another good suggestion!

25. Take up gardening. It will help you bond with your parents and give you fresh fruit and veggies….Majority of the people live in apartments.. so suggestion duscarded!

26. Instead of shopping at Harrods, watch the Pakistan cricket team play Australia and England at Lords. With no team willing to tour Pakistan, the home of cricket is now our own personal backyard.…no comments!

27. Go to your father’s village. The next time you tell your friends about how you discovered your spirituality in your ancestral village, you won’t be lying…I  tried this one but my father has gotten better with his excuses of why we cant still make it to his home town this year even!

28. Following the phenomenal success of Coke Studio Seasons 1 and 2, this summer brings the most recent installment of the wildly successful project which sees Pakistani musicians and singers of different styles and genres, from pop to classical, from spiritual to dance, coming together to collaborate on each other’s music with unexpected and exciting results…already following it, downloaded it, and danced around like crazy to it!

29. Billed as ‘’lyrical, tender and uplifting’’, Tishani Doshi’s debut novel, The Pleasure Seekers, is the thing to avoid like the plague this summer.  …Plus not worth the three figure amount that you would have to waste on it!

30. Karachiites, take a trip to Lahore; Lahoris, come visit Karachi. Then spend the rest of the summer moaning about how much you hate them…I hate the summer in Lahore.. have you ever been to Lahore in the summer.. it SUCKS! Plus, I like having a beach!

31. Billed as “Pakistan’s first slacker movie’’, Slackistan from young director Hammad Khan is set to release this summer. This shall be Khan’s first feature-length film, his short films have already done the rounds at film festivals seeing him earn a Bafta nomination in 2007. Set in Islamabad and dealing with the city’s privileged, frustrated and ennui-ridden young, Slackistan will be a welcome addition to the crop of independent Pakistani film ….This one should be done as we need all the support for the few short films coming out from this land !

32. The epic Pakistani struggle to attain a visa for international travel is a much-lamented affair, yet Pakistanis are singularly unwilling to explore their own country which is a great shame, since it means they may miss out on the spectacular Shangrila resort in Skardu. ..I really need to do this one before the Taliban’s hit that one too!

33. If for some reason you are unable to get out of town this summer, don’t fret. Summers in Karachi are all about the fruit. Make salads and shakes with mangoes, falsas and lychees. Or eat them as is …I will stick with the coke.. but still good one!

34. Watch the football World Cup. Pakistan may never qualify but with the genius of Messi and the beauty of the Brazilians, this is one sporting event we can appreciate without nationalism getting in the way…Following it like crazyyyyyyy!

35. If you’re in the mood for adventure, brave the out and out hostile locals and go for a spot of exhilarating scuba diving in Mubarak village…Been there, done that.. not the scuba thing.. just the drive to Mubarak Village !

36. As dieters prepare themselves for their summer wardrobes, there is always a faint murmering, this time of year, about the miraculous fruit diet, by which one can allegedly lose pound upon pound. People omit to mention that one shall gain it back the instant one’s digestive system makes contact with any other food group. As such, a more sane way to make the most of this season’s splendours work for you is to opt for the three-day fruit detox plan. …Thanks but no thanks!

37. This summer shall see Alex Rutherford’s second installment of his Empire of the Moghul series, the first of which chronicled Babar’s reign and ended with Humayun’s succession. The forthcoming book now delves into Humayun’s era, looking into his inter-familial battle for power along with more personal aspects such as his relationship with his stepmother who is accredited with inducing the emperor’s opium addiction.  ….Top of my list!

38. If you can’t take time off for a long summer holiday then spend a weekend in Gwadar: the pristine beaches, the Hingol National Park, and, if nothing else, the hotel’s spa, should rejuvenate you for the next week…Only that Cyclone PHET  swept away the Coastal Highway..!

39. The temperature might be soaring outside, but baking and cooking classes are a summer staple….Have you ever stood in front of a stove ever .. cause if you had you would not be giving this suggestion!

40. Hollywood has rarely been a fount of originality. But who wants thought-provoking period dramas avant-garde dissertations on existentialism when we can watch things that we’ve already seen? This summer’s blockbusters are chock a block with sequels, remakes and video game, TV and comic adaptations. A small sampling of the familiar movies you can watch in the cinema or on your flat-screen TV: Iron Man 2, Robin Hood, MacGruber, Shrek Forever After, Prince of Persia, Get Him to the Greek, Marmaduke, The A-Team, The Karate Kid, Toy Story 3, The Twlight Saga: Eclipse, Predators, Cats and Dogs:The Revenge of Kitty Galore, Step Up 3D, Nanny McPhee Returns and Piranha 3D…This one isn’t that bad either! Done-able!

(You can find the complete list at http://tribune.com.pk/story/18713/40-things-to-do-this-summer/)

(Image from: The Express Tribune)

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